Question pack

Questions to Ask Grandparents About Family History

Family history questions for grandparents: the names, the old town, the characters, and the heirlooms, asked while someone can still explain them.

Genealogy sites can give you names and dates. What they can't give you is why the name is spelled two different ways, who the man in the back row of the photograph is, or how the soup is supposed to taste. That knowledge lives in exactly one place: your grandparents' heads.

These questions are for extracting it. They work best with props: a photo album on the table, the old recipe box, the papers from the closet. Family history sticks to objects, and objects jog memories that direct questions can't reach.

Names and where they came from

What was your mother's maiden name, and where was her family from?
Who were you named after, and what do you know about that person?
What are the family surnames, going back as far as you can?
Did anyone change a name (spelling, shortening, translation), and why?
What nicknames did people go by day to day, and how did they get them?

The old country, the old town

Who in the family came from somewhere else, and what did they bring with them?
What did they say about the journey — the crossing, the train, the drive?
What language was spoken at home, and which words survived into your childhood?
What town did the family consider "ours," and what was in it?
Did anyone ever go back? What did they find there?
What holidays did the family keep, and what was on the table for each?

Family stories and characters

Who was the character everyone told stories about?
What's the family story that gets a little better every time it's told?
Who made the family's money, or lost it, and how?
What feud, scandal, or secret did the adults only discuss in low voices?
Which relative do people say I take after, and in what way?

Heirlooms, photos, and recipes

What's the oldest object in the family, and whose hands has it passed through?
Who is in the oldest photograph you own, and where was it taken?
Which recipe came down through the family, and who makes it right?
Is there a Bible, a letter, a medal, or a deed tucked away somewhere? What's its story?
What did you inherit? What do you want passed on, and to whom?

How to use these questions

Do this one with the album open. Point at faces and ask "who is this, and what were they like?" One photograph will give you more family history than ten abstract questions. Label the backs of the photos as you go, in pencil; you are the last generation that will be able to.

Names, dates, and places deserve a second pass: repeat them back and ask "did I get that right?" Memory is confident and wrong about details more often than people expect, and a cousin's corroboration later is much easier when you've written down exactly what was said. If a question hits a wall, drop it and move on.