Question pack

Life Story Interview Questions (and How to Ask Them)

A working set of life story interview questions, era by era, plus how to run the interview so you get scenes and stories rather than a résumé.

Most life-story interviews fail the same way: they open with something enormous ("tell me about your life") and get back a résumé. Dates, jobs, moves — accurate, complete, and empty. The person wasn't being difficult. Big questions retrieve summaries; small questions retrieve scenes.

The questions below are small on purpose, arranged roughly in life order. Used across a few sessions, they'll carry a subject from first memory to the present day without either of you facing the blank of "so... tell me everything."

Use only the questions that fit. Skip anything that feels too private, and follow the details they want to share.

Openers that lower the stakes

  1. What's your full name, and who chose it?
  2. Where were you born, and what kind of town was it?
  3. What's the first house you remember? Walk me through it, room by room.
  4. What's the earliest memory you can pin to a place and a season?

Childhood and growing up

  1. Who was in the household, and how did it run day to day?
  2. What did you do after school on an ordinary day?
  3. What was the first big news event you remember, and where did you hear about it?
  4. What did you and your friends get up to that still makes you laugh?
  5. Who was your best friend at fourteen, and what did the two of you do?

Work and adult life

  1. What was your first full day of real work like?
  2. How did you end up in the work you did — plan, or accident?
  3. Who was the best boss or mentor you had, and what did they teach you?
  4. Was there something you saved for that felt especially important?
  5. What did you do on a day off in your thirties?

Love and family

  1. If there was a partner who mattered to you, how did you meet?
  2. If you had a wedding or celebration, what do you remember about it?
  3. What surprised you about an early serious relationship or living with someone?
  4. If you cared for children, what was bedtime like in your home?
  5. What tradition did you start or carry forward with people close to you?

Looking back

  1. What risk did you take that paid off?
  2. Which decade of your life would you live over again exactly as it was?
  3. What did you build, make, or plant that's still out there?
  4. Who do you wish the family knew more about?
  5. What do you hope younger family members know about how you did things?

How to run a life-story interview

Book sessions, not a session; a life doesn't fit in an afternoon. Thirty to forty-five minutes per sitting, one era at a time (childhood this week, work the next), keeps each conversation lively and gives the subject days to remember more, which they reliably do. The best material often arrives at the start of session two: "I've been thinking about what you asked."

During the interview, your main job is to chase scenes. When you hear a summary ("we didn't have much, but we managed"), ask for one specific instance: a winter, a meal, a bill that almost didn't get paid. The words "tell me about one time" are the most useful five words in oral history. Resist the urge to relate everything back to your own life.

If you record the conversation, begin at the first question. Afterward, note the proper nouns (people, places, employers) while they're fresh — transcripts full of unidentifiable "Eddies" are harder for other family members to use later. End each session by asking what you should ask about next time; subjects almost always know where their own good stories are.